The Pornography Struggle - Part 4

At this point, I can imagine someone saying, “Ok, I get what you are saying about idolatry and the need for relational connection with God and others. But, what do I do about physical desire? What about the sexual tension?"

How does a single man or woman deal with that? Or as a coach, how do I help a teenage boy or girl wrestle with this issue? In Part 1, I said that desire itself isn’t sin, and the natural buildup of it is just a biological reality. Paul even recognizes and addresses this fact in

1 Corinthians 7:9, “⁹ But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion”. Sure, Paul isn’t talking about desire built up by the nature of pornography or sexual sin. However, his wisdom certainly applies more generally to avoid engaging in any sexual sin, including pornography.

We are not to awaken desire until its proper time, which should only be fulfilled in the context of marriage (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4). The more we awaken these desires with artificial and sinful means, the more we will struggle. We know that the human body will respond and produce what it thinks it needs. So, the less we feed the desire, the more it will shrink and fit into God’s designed footprint for a single person.

But, how do we handle that natural God-given desire?  First, by design, our bodies resolve this problem on their own. God designed the male body to peak with sexual hormones every seventy-two hours, and with that comes a lot of energy. If the body needs to release sperm and seminal fluid, it will do so on its own while a man is asleep (nocturnal emissions or wet dreams as they are known). So, the body already has a resolution for this in the life of a single guy.

1. Second, we must understand that the godly man doesn’t fight sexual temptation, he flees from it (1 Cor 6:18). He is not more spiritual for trying to stand in the face of temptation. The Bible is clear that we are to flee. God designed the brain in a way that when sexually aroused, the frontal cortex of the brain (including decision-making) does not function well. Yet, this is the much-needed part of the brain in this situation.
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3. Therefore, the best move is to avoid the temptation. If you are tempted to watch pornography, it is best to get off the computer, phone, or devices and go for a run, work out, or other activity. Then, pray and seek the Lord when that part of the brain is back to being more actively engaged.
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5. Lastly, the Bible encourages us to glorify God even with our sexual energy. As Paul says, “¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? ²⁰ For you have been bought with a price: therefore, glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We do this by not offering our bodies to sexual sin (Rom 6:12-13), and we continue to do this by using our sexual energy for the glory of God (1 Cor 7:32).
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7. Use that energy in the service of God and others. When struggling, go help an elderly person by doing their yard work. Help someone in their move or volunteer at your church. Help replace roofs, build fences or any other active activity that moves that energy into something good for others. Maybe even use it to train, work out, or do self-defense classes that teach greater discipline.
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God gave you this energy! Find a way to glorify Him with it!