Now that we have looked at the need to have a relationship with God and worship Him alone, we turn to our relationships with each other. In the first article in this series, we considered how God made us for oneness, which is a spiritual, emotional, and physical reality. Total connection is our design. Total connection with God and total connection with others.

So often, as men, we limit relationships. We think that with God and a wife or girlfriend, we have all we need. In fact, many studies have found that most men have no true friends. In his book The Friendship Factor, Alan Loy McGinnis shared a study that found only 10% of men ever have any cultivated friendships. This is not God’s good and healthy design. 

You might wonder why friendships matter in this discussion. As I stated previously, sexual sin and the struggle with pornography, is a form of idolatry. It is a way of seeking sanctification or completion outside of God’s good design. God created us to be in relationships. He made us for connection, and He made us to grow in godliness through community.

1) In relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ, we sharpen one another (Prov 27:17).

2) In relationships with close friends, we strengthen one other (1 Thess 5:11). Something powerful happens in and with the relational connections we make. With God, we receive the power to overcome sin and struggle (1 Cor 10:13).

3) In relationships with trusted friends, sin loses its power in our confessions to one another. Freedom advances through prayer and allows us to seek healing (James 5:16).

We ALL will be tempted by sin in our daily Christian walk. But, something powerful happens in relationships when we set aside our pride and are willing to confess struggle and temptation. We experience acceptance of those who still love us and are willing to encourage us to seek freedom in the Lord. Galatians 6:1-2 says, “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. ² Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”

If you want to encourage someone who struggles with pornography, or compulsive sexual sin of any kind, encourage them to seek godly community. Urge them to humble themselves and to stop hiding in the darkness. God’s formula is very clear: 5“God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; ⁷ but if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:5-7).

Someone you know may need help in this area and desire the fullness that God has for them. A vital step is to have strong and godly battle buddies around them who they can confide in. After all, if you're going to end up confessing something, isn’t it better to confess temptation rather than sin? Isn’t it better to allow others to encourage you, pray for you, hold you to the plan that you know will lead you away from sin and to God? There are no lone rangers in the kingdom of God. In order to resist and reject the dangers of pornography, being in meaningful relationships with friends to confide in is a healthy place to turn.