“[Submit] to one another [husbands and wives] out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:21-25

Off the cuff, most coaches could explain what healthy leadership should look like to run a successful program. Through continuing education and performance reviews, the best coaches work diligently to become better at their vocation. This is right and good, but our work is only one part of our calling. Yet, this part of our lives often receives significantly more attention than others. So, here’s a question for coaches: What would it look like for you to be as intentional at home as you are with your game planning, practice plans, off-season workouts, etc.?

God’s will for you as a husband and father is to embrace a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, protect, and provide for your family. Leading this way will require a mind shift from managing daily life to leading with intention.

Below is a worksheet to help you take the next steps into benevolent responsibility as a husband and father.

Part 1: Family Mission Statement

• Our Family Mission Statement: In 2–3 sentences, what is our primary goal as a family? (e.g., “To serve our neighbors and raise children who love the truth of God’s Word.”)
• Non-Negotiables: What are the 3 top values we will not compromise on? (e.g., Honesty, Joy, and Generosity).
• Ministry & Outreach: How will we use our home and free time to help others this year?

Part 2: Rhythms of Life and Leisure

• Spiritual Rhythms:

• - Prioritize gathering weekly to worship with your church family.

• - At home, when will we pray and read the Bible together? (Morning, dinner, or bedtime?)

• The Digital Boundary: What are our rules for social media, TV/video games, and phones?

• Rest & Play: How do we protect our leisure time so it remains restorative rather than lackadaisical?

Part 3: Parenting and Discipline

• Align Leadership Styles: Children need to experience a unified front.

• Gospel-Centered:

• - Remember to disciple along with your discipline.

• - Bring the teachings of Scripture into the conversation when correcting behavior.

• Discussion Points:

• - How can we ensure the children see us as a team rather than “good cop/bad cop”?

Part 4: Financial Stewardship

• The Giving Goal: What percentage of our income are we committed to giving away?

• Long-term Security: What is our current plan for retirement, insurance, and savings?

• Financial Visibility: When is our monthly “Money Date” to review the budget together?

Part 5: The “Initiative” Check-In

• For the Husband: “Where have I been passive lately that I need to step up and lead a conversation?”

• For the Wife: "What blind spots do I see in our current plan that we need to address together?”

• For Both: How can we better love and serve each other this month?

• The Next Meeting: Put a date on the calendar right now for our next “Check-In Night.”

Don't try to knock out these steps in one sitting. Try picking one section per week, grab a coffee, and talk through it. The goal isn't a perfect document—it's the process of talking and praying together.